I won’t go into great detail, but because of some health issues I’ve been having since May of this year, I decided to consult a holistic doctor a few weeks back. My medical avenues had been exhausted up to that point. The general consensus- we don’t know what’s wrong with you.
Well, after two and a half hours my consultant (Linda Potts from Healing Waters Wellness Center) seemed to know exactly what I needed to get back on the path of healing. Not only did she give me natural supplements to heal my body, but gave me advice to heal my emotional wounds. Since then my life has taken some drastic turns and all for the better.
My personal relationships with those closest to me have become significantly better. My whole outlook on life is much more positive. And something she said at my last consultation a few days ago really hit me hard. She said, “You deserve to be happy”.
At first I was like, but I am happy. And then I realized that perhaps I wasn’t as happy as I thought. I let the negative parts of my life squeeze all the real happiness away, and I didn’t even realize I was doing it to myself. Remember that saying, “You are your own worst enemy.” Yep, so freaking true. I ended up damaging myself to the point of making myself physically ill. And It’s a hard realization to face. To forgive myself for being so cruel.
I deserve to be happy.
Yep, even after breaking myself down. I still deserve happiness. Even after all my negativity that’s infected those around me for years and upon years. I still deserve happiness.
The fact is we all deserve happiness. We are entitled to it, and should fight for it. We should embrace happiness and make it ours. After all, life isn’t much fun without it being fun!
I say all this (here on my writing blog) because my illness has drastically affected my ability to live my life, including my ability to write (especially the last few months). Let my hardship be a cautionary tale to everyone who reads this. And hopefully I can pass on a little advice that may make a difference. I’m paying it forward, so listen if you dare, or even care.
You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be the best you can be. Let the negative slip off you like rain. Soak in the sun of all the positives in your life. Accept only your best attributes and don’t focus on the things you don’t like. You are beautiful. You are unique. The world is better for having you in it. Your life is not an accumulation of things you don’t like or wish you had. Your life is an accumulation of what you bring to yourself and others. Love and love often. But most important of all… forgive yourself for being stupid and move on, because… (say it with me!) you (I) deserve to be happy!
Anyways, I do not yet know how all this will change my writing. But for once in a long time, I’m actually enjoying writing and plotting out future posts (in fact I have a five part series based off my fight scene workshop at Context all planned out and half written already), so I seem to be coming back around. It’s taken a long time. It’s been a hard road, but I actually feel equal to the task before me.
One thing I know for certain… Writing is important to me and it’s something that does make me truly happy. So my writing will always be apart of my life whether it’s a big part or a small part, because it is what I deserve.
So what makes YOU happy?