If you read my Speak Your Truth post on Why Is There So Much Hostility In My Life?, then perhaps you have taken the time to identify that some self-work may be needed to break damaging cycles. The best way to do this is through having plenty of self-compassion for yourself.
I don’t know about you, but I have no problem giving out compassion, or a kind word to other people. I have, in fact, worked hard to be more considerate of others. But have I done the same thing to myself? Have you?
There are many ways we can be more gentle with ourselves. One major way is to do more self-care. This can be anything you take the time to do for yourself. Some of the things I like to do for myself include…
- Taking walks
- Fiction writing
- Taking nice long baths
- Taking naps
- Reading a good book
- Enjoying a cup of tea
- Enjoying conversation with a friend
- Just sitting in silence for awhile
There are so many ways to take time for yourself. Pick a few things you love doing, and make sure to carve out time every single day for yourself. This was hard for me to do at first, but now I realize the benefits are too great to ignore. Taking time for yourself is vital if you want to increase the compassion for yourself, and others in your life.
Continue reading “Speak Your Truth: Ways to Show More Self-Compassion”
There are times when I feel like I’m fighting the world, and the world is fighting me. I feel like someone is out to get me, and that the inner turmoil is causing real struggle. I wonder why this is happening. Why is it that everything and others seem so hostile towards me?
And then I remember… if something or someone is negatively affecting me on the outside, it first transpired on the inside. I set that standard.
We each set that standard whether we realize it or not.
Have you ever heard of the Laws of Attraction? Well, it goes both ways, positive and negative. What we put out, even to ourselves, we get back in kind.
- If we are hard on ourselves…
- If we don’t give ourselves enough compassion…
- If we are frustrated with ourself for not doing something fast enough…
- If we feel down on ourselves for making mistake after mistake…
- If we blame ourselves for something…
- If we don’t like ourselves for whatever reason…
- If we are not honest with ourselves about something…
Chances are there may be a situation or person that is reflecting those same things you are doing to yourself.
Want to know why you’re struggling so hard on the outside? Take a look on the inside. What unkind things are you doing to yourself that needs to be healed and released?
Continue reading “Speak Your Truth: Why Is There So Much Hostility In My Life?”
Did you know that our thought processes are what make our existence the way it is? If our thoughts are constantly on the negative, then these are the things that will continue to show up in our lives. We are inviting these kinds of circumstances to be active participants in everything we do. However, if we turn those negative thoughts into positive thoughts with positive outcomes, then we start seeing a change in the sort of events that happen around us.
This isn’t easy to do—to retrain the mind in how it thinks. Many of us have been programmed to the negative slant for most of our lives. Adjusting to a different way takes time, practice, and patience. The key to retraining the mind is to be persistent with making it happen, and be self-compassionate when the inevitable backwards slip happens.
I do think that slipping backwards is part of the retraining though. This slip back into negative ways helps us become more aware of how our thoughts work. To recognize the kind of patterns that need to be addressed. So don’t stress too much about getting it right. Our own individual right way will reveal itself as we continue to retrain the negative mind.
Here are some ways to help retrain your negative mind…
Continue reading “Speak Your Truth: Retraining the Negative Mind”
We all have heard the story of the tortoise and the hare. These two animals go on their race. The hare is all confident he will win because of how much faster he is. The tortoise takes the challenge with a proverbial shoulder shrug. The hare starts off at top speed, and then decides to take some breaks along the way and goof off. Why not? It will take the tortoise forever to get there. And yet, by the time the hare arrives at the finish line, who does he see there waiting for him?
I feel a great many of us symbolize the hare. We race around in a hurried frenzy from one thing to the next. Sometimes we race so hard we lay down gasping, needing breath, a break, maybe even a new life. Going slow isn’t an option because then nothing would get done, so we race even harder, even faster because of all the things we aren’t getting done. We just aren’t fast enough. We’ll never be fast enough.
That’s how I used to think life should be. Where did I learn that mentality? I don’t know. Maybe because that’s how everyone else around me was doing it, so I did it too. It’s the normal thing to do. If you aren’t busy, you aren’t cool. If your calendar isn’t accidentally double booked at least a couple times a month, you aren’t doing enough.
The last few months I have been trying a different way. After all, what was the so-busy-I-could-see-myself-coming-and-going doing for me? It was stressing me out so much I was always sick. It was making me feel pulled in all directions. It was making feel overwhelmed and incapable of sometimes even getting out of bed. I was always irritable and frustrated. I always felt like I needed a vacation, even after I just took a vacation. I never felt like I had time for anything, most especially myself. I felt depleted and completely broken. I could barely function on any level. I was miserable, and an erratic mess. I was sad. I was done.
I have done a lot of things between then and now to change my life around, one of them has been slowing down. WAY down. I took all the things out of my life I felt were obligations, and were weighing me down. And then I started doing the things I wanted to do. I still manage to get the things done that need to be accomplished. But what exactly needs to be done?
Continue reading “Speak Your Truth: Slow and Steady”
I have the freak-out mode down. It’s my go-to when all hell is breaking loose. Challenges standing in my way? Bring on the freak-out! My mind rolls through all the things that could go wrong, and then repeats until I am certain everything is about to come crashing down. The world as I know it is about to end. Even the smallest little thing can set me off, and can, and often does, set off a whole new line of bad what if’s. Ultimate disasters appear to be lurking just around the corner. My anxiety so high, I feel like I’m headed for a nasty crash and burn.
Maybe not. Maybe you stay cool under pressure. Maybe you only think of best case scenarios when things are looking grim. Shhh… don’t tell anybody, but yeah, I admit, I do this from time to time. I actually manage to stay calm. I think positively. I’m on the optimistic bus and it’s great! But I still struggle with my brain’s default setting to go to negative and worst case possibilities before I even consider that good can actually (and almost always does) come from what I might think of “bad” situations.
So if you are like me and have moments of freak-out that threaten the very ground you stand on, how do you deal with it? I have realized sometime ago that the best way for me to work through a situation is to have a plan, or at least a baseline in which to work from. I have found that I fall into repeating habits from time to time and a key way for me to work through these “bad” habits is to write about it.
Here are list of things I have come up with that help me work through my freak-out modes. Hopefully you will find it useful.
Continue reading “Speak Your Truth: Calming the Freak-Out Mode”
Here’s another video blog post. I have to admit doing videos helps with time. It’s much faster to do a video than writing and editing a blog post. lol… This particular topic only hit me yesterday, and it woke me up at 4 this morning and I couldn’t get back to sleep, so that tells me this is something I need to post to get it out of my head. And maybe it will help to inspire change in others as well. Change is hard, but it’s worth the effort. That’s become a solid truth I live by every single day now. Hope you all enjoy!
Did you know that the more patient you are, the faster the things you want come to you?
Waiting is hard, especially when there’s something we want to happen very badly, but it never seems to come. Weeks and months go by, and still nothing. We wonder if it will ever happen. What does happen in the meantime? Are we really appreciating what we have right now? Are we enjoying life now as it is? Or are we impatiently tapping our toes waiting for that thing or things we really want to happen?
Patience isn’t just something we do while we wait for something important to happen. Patience is a way of life, a way of being. It’s what we do and what we are every moment of our existence. It’s in the way we think. In the way we act. It’s a whole new way of seeing the world.
Patience allows all things to come when it’s supposed to. It gives our life room to breath and to just be. It opens the heart and mind and eyes. It allows. It just is.
Patience gives us the gift of living in the moment. It helps us to see and appreciate all we have. It helps us dream about the things we want, but know it will happen when it’s supposed to. We can still appreciate the now, because our patience will bring us our heart’s desire in the right time.
Continue reading “Speak Your Truth: Why Patience Is So Important”