If you are anything like me, letting go is an incredibly hard thing to do. I have always known I have a control issue, which was continuously reinforced with statements like, “You’re such a bossy sister” or “Why do you have to be such a control freak?”. So the idea of surrendering to uncertainty has pretty much terrified me all my life.
Is it a legitimate fear to have? If you let go of control, will things quickly fall into chaos and ultimate destruction? I would have to say no on both counts, because the times that I have managed to let go of control, things worked out just fine.
In fact, things always worked out better than if I had been in control. And yet, time and time again, I am continually faced with the challenge of letting go, surrendering to a Higher Power, and just waiting to see what happens.
There are times when I start to wonder if I am deeply flawed. I start to think this will always be a curse, a challenge I will never overcome. But then I realize it’s that exact kind of thinking that keeps me stuck in a controlling attitude.
Here’s what I know. The harder I hold on to something or an idea, the more conflict appears in my life. The more I just let things be, the more calm things tend to be, and miracles start appearing.
I believe that surrendering to the things we can’t control allows new possibilities we would have never considered to appear in our lives. I think as long as we are clear about what we want, the Universe, God, ect. will help us receive the things we want in the right way instead of us forcing something that might not make us happy at all.
We think we know what we want, but we can’t possibly see or understand the bigger picture. So why try to control it all? It will just make us miserable for trying. Believe me, I know.
For me, I find that surrendering control has to be a daily, sometimes a many times a day thing. It’s a practice. The more we do it, the better we get at it. And yes, there will be times where we think we’re just treading water and not really getting anywhere.
We will think we will forever be stuck in a pattern of trying to take the reins, then realizing we have to give the reins up and not really succeeding, to then finally being able to truly surrender. And then something happens to shatter the hard earned calm, and we have to do it all over again.
It sucks.
But it’s a process.
And a habit that needs to be learned, a brain that needs to be retrained as many times as it takes to allow a new way of being to rise up.
Perhaps one day, we might even discover that the things that used to drive us nuts, or would completely send us into downward spiral, barely affects us. Did the situation change?
No.
We changed. Overtime, we changed so that we became more capable of dealing with challenging situations. Or even a new realm of possibly is laid bare to us as we realize those so-called “challenging situations” may not have been as challenging as we always thought.
Really it all comes down to how we think about things. When we do the work to raise ourselves into a new way of thinking and being, then everything takes on a new slant. We start to see the world in a deeper, and yet, a more simple way. We understand that those “challenging situations” helped push us to find out how amazing we truly are. We learn of our true power. We also begin to appreciate the changes and chaotic way life can be sometimes.
In all the change and chaos of life there is one thing that does stay constant, and that’s all the uncertainties that stretch out before us. But with uncertainties also comes new and possible opportunities. So instead of seeing the vast unknown as a thing to dread or have fear about, maybe think, “What amazing things might happen now?”
Cynthia D. Griffin 