There are many things I could talk about this month, and maybe I might have time to do another post later before the month is over, but there is one subject that jumped out at me to share. This topic is a reoccurring thing for me, and I feel the need to share and talk about it with others because it really is an important thing to know and understand. I want to talk about forgiveness—forgiveness to others, but most importantly, forgiveness to ourselves.
I used to shy away from that word—forgiveness. I never really understood why. Nowadays I understand all too clearly. I shied away because I couldn’t bring myself to forgive myself, or anyone else. This stemmed from a lack of compassion. My heart over time had become so full of all the wrongs in this world, I couldn’t conceive of trying to make anything right.
It’s easy to become overwhelmed if we were never taught how to combat overwhelming things. If we never learned the tools to move past the daily hurts and see the positive in every situation. If we never allowed ourselves to feel deep compassion for ourselves or for others, because that’s not how we are taught to interact in our society. When our hearts become closed and hardened, forgiveness becomes impossible.
I can’t speak for all people, but I can say that for me forgiveness has been the hardest lesson of all to learn. We typically learn from an early age that the blame always falls with someone else. And maybe at times this is the case. Maybe there are many people who have hurt us along the way, but I think in some ways we do invite this sort of hurt onto ourselves. Because deep down we are nursing something that needs to be brought to light, but are not able to do so for one reason or the other. We think we don’t deserve better, or we simply feel helpless to do anything about anything.
Continue reading “Speak Your Truth: The Healing Power of Forgiveness”
How do you say goodbye to a place you love? You know you can’t stay because leaving is the only way to make significant and positive change that is badly needed in every part of your life. How do you let go of all that you are leaving behind?
At the beginning of this year, my husband and I decided that our lives were not going in the direction we wanted. We were stuck. Stuck in our situation, and in our minds. We couldn’t move forward no matter what we tried. So after long soul-searching talks with one another, we decided our lives needed to go through a massive change if we ever wanted to have the kind of lives we really wanted. But we knew even then it would take massive work from both of us to make this a reality. We also had no idea how long it would take, which made for another daunting uncertainty.
One of the major changes we decided to make was to move, and not just a small move. An almost 1,000 mile move from one end of the country to the other. This also meant making a lot of other changes too. A lot of those changes had to happen inside of us. What was the point of making such a drastic relocation if all our problems followed us there?
Both my husband and I dedicated a lot of time to healing ourselves as well as our relationship. In fact, we became much stronger as a team after he relocated to Florida at the end of March. We had to communicate much more and rely on each other almost everyday to make sure everything didn’t fall apart.
It took major effort from both of us as we inched along to solve each problem that came our way… him getting and starting a new job, somewhere for him to stay while we looked for permanent housing for our family, deciding to buy or rent, then once we decided to buy we had to go through the whole house buying process, and then trying to get our son to be okay with letting go of the only home he ever knew to accept the new one.
Continue reading “Speak Your Truth: Letting Go”
It took a few false starts for me to finally get this blog post to say what I wanted it to say. This being the first official post of the series, I wanted to make sure it was truly the right words. The fact is there is a whole lot to say, but which are the right words? And there in lies my problem. When I get like this, not much get done.
Second-guessing myself has been something I’ve done a whole lot in my life. Sometimes it got so bad, I stayed stuck in one place for a very long time. It was too hard to make a decision and stick with it, because I never could be confident enough to step out and keep stepping outward. It seemed easier to stay in one place.
It’s not, however. Stuck is stuck and that means nothing new or anything truly meaningful will happen. Only the same stuff over and over. Dreams fly by, and they are just that–dreams. They never become real. And discontent grows to the point where there’s no hope for the future. Day after day goes by, and it feels like a prison. You don’t need to die to go to hell–you are already there.
Yes, we can and do create our own hells. It happens everyday. The worst part is you never know when it starts. One day you are okay and then you realize nothing is okay. Or maybe nothing ever was okay.
But one thing I’ve learned is that life is what you make of it. You want a happy life, then imagine yourself in that happy life. And not just every once in awhile–imagine it all the time. Be specific about what you want. Know what you even want. Don’t think about all the obstacles standing in the way. Those don’t really matter. It’s a way of stuck thinking. If you truly want something bad enough, you are going to get it, and nothing will stop you.
Continue reading “Speak Your Truth: Trust and Believe”
My life has gone through some major changes over the last few months and this will probably continue for awhile. These changes have been good ones, but they have drastically changed how I think and approach life. I now have a deeper understanding of myself, and the world around me. One of the things I understand is how much this world needs healing. There is not a single one of us who can heal the world, but if we each do a small part then major change can occur.
I have decided that I can do a few things to help the healing process, and part of that is by creating a new blog series that I will be posting on once a month. I hope to do twice a month at some point, but I have a lot going on in my life right now and only feel comfortable committing to one a month for now.
This series is geared at giving myself a place to speak up and share some of the things I have learned as I have grown and expanded over the last few months. But it will also be a place others can come to speak their truths as well.
Continue reading “New Blog Series: Speak Your Truth”
I’ve been keeping mostly to myself this summer because it’s been an especially busy one this year. I’ve been packing to get ready for our move, which should happen in a few weeks. We are in closing stages now on our home in Florida. I’ve also been doing a lot of self-reflection work to help clear myself to be more beneficial as a Reiki healer and to be a more balanced person over all. The other major project I’ve been working on is a book that is near and dear to my heart, mostly because it is a large part of my heart–it is one of my very special journals that I’ve been writing in for quite some time.
A Writer’s Wings took years to write, but it was done little bits at a time as any journal is written. I spent a large part of April, May, and June of this year transferring my journal entries into a digital file. Then I spent July working on formatting, layout, and illustrations to place in the book to make it a little more eye-catching. I’ve been working on the cover off and on since April, but it’s only been the last week I’ve buckled down to get it finished.
I have a 11×17 image of the butterfly you see across the front of the cover hanging over my desk in my office. I created the graphic years ago, because I decided I needed something very personal and meaningful to inspire me as I wrote. In fact, as I was brainstorming cover ideas for Writer’s Wings I kept looking up at that image over my desk. After a while a light came on in my befuddled brain and I realized the image was exactly what I needed for the cover, since Writer’s Wings is all about inspiration.
Continue reading “A Writer’s Wings Cover Reveal!”
I know I’m not the only one who can claim to have a very busy life. Everyone is busy these days. No one has time for any extras, and it’s just plan impossible to squeeze in time for things you really, really don’t want to do. I wear many hats as a wife, mom, homeschool teacher, friend, Reiki healer, writer, sometimes employee, and a very sometimes blogger. Lately, I’ve added another job as packer and mover with our family’s relocation to Florida in the next few weeks. I really don’t have time for anything extra, especially for something I don’t want to do and something that’s most assuredly going to add more stress to an already stress-filled life.
If you’ve been keeping up with my blog, you know I recently published my first novel last month. Most writers would be marketing their little hearts out and plastering the internet and anything else they can think of to get the word out about their new book! And why shouldn’t they? It was hard work and it’s time to reap the benefits. But I’m not like most people, I already got the “benefit” out of writing my book. I finished a really hard and tough project (well the first book of it anyways) and damn if that didn’t feel freaking awesome! If I actually sell some copies here and there… bonus!
But I did not become a writer to make money, and I do not and will not get to a point where I rely on book sales to supplement my income (that’s what my hard working husband is for — love you Hun!). If I need money, I’ll find some other way to acquire it. That being said, it would be really, super awesome to at least earn back my investment in self-publishing my book, and I certainly appreciate anyone who has helped and will help to contribute to that goal!
I know there are a lot of hard working writers out there who do rely on writing as an income and my hat is off to them, but partway through my writing “career” I realized that’s not for me. I can’t write that way. I have to be one hundred percent free to be me when it comes to my writing and that means not limiting myself in anyway or stressing myself out over something I don’t want to do. And marketing is something I most certainly do not want to do.
Continue reading “My NOT Marketing Plan”
Here it is available for purchase, Blood Feud the first book in the Emperors of Ethia! Can’t believe the day is finally here. If you are a science fiction lover, check out the beginning of this epic series that dives into a galaxy ruled by an authoritarian Emperor who’s determined to settle once and for all the successor of his throne, and a son determine to find out more about his true role in the Empire.
Caught in a deadly conspiracy to forge the next Emperor of the Ethian Galaxy, an ancient rite demands blood…
After twenty-two years being held captive on an Outlander world, the long lost Prince Adar Zahn is finally brought back to his true home, but without any memory of his past. As he searches for the answers about himself and what is expected as the Emperor’s sixth son, Adar discovers how difficult trust is to find and that the truth can be worse than a lie.
On his journey of discovery, he is left with questions about himself, a growing foreboding about his family, and a rising urgency to discover more about a vaguely mentioned Blood Feud. Can he unravel the mystery that surrounds him before it’s too late?
Continue reading “Blood Feud Release: It’s Official!”