If you read my Speak Your Truth post on Why Is There So Much Hostility In My Life?, then perhaps you have taken the time to identify that some self-work may be needed to break damaging cycles. The best way to do this is through having plenty of self-compassion for yourself.
I don’t know about you, but I have no problem giving out compassion, or a kind word to other people. I have, in fact, worked hard to be more considerate of others. But have I done the same thing to myself? Have you?
There are many ways we can be more gentle with ourselves. One major way is to do more self-care. This can be anything you take the time to do for yourself. Some of the things I like to do for myself include…
- Taking walks
- Yoga
- Mediation
- Journaling
- Fiction writing
- Taking nice long baths
- Taking naps
- Reading a good book
- Enjoying a cup of tea
- Enjoying conversation with a friend
- Just sitting in silence for awhile
There are so many ways to take time for yourself. Pick a few things you love doing, and make sure to carve out time every single day for yourself. This was hard for me to do at first, but now I realize the benefits are too great to ignore. Taking time for yourself is vital if you want to increase the compassion for yourself, and others in your life.
Another way to show more self-compassion is, I think, a little harder. It’s having better self-talk. We all have conversations with ourselves. It happens many times without us even thinking about it. Self-talk is so natural. And it can also be our biggest hurtle against showing more self-compassion.
I don’t know about you, but my self-talk tends to be quite negative. It’s a bad habit picked up from childhood. And it only gets worse as we get older. I don’t think we even know how detrimental our self-talk can be.
Try listening to what you are saying to yourself. Would you say those things to other people? If not, then why are you saying them to yourself? Take some time out and really see what sort of conversations you are having with yourself, and then start injecting the sort of things you’d say to your best friend when they are in a moment of need.
We can be our own worse enemies if let unchecked. The self-sabotage can be incredibly devastating. Next time you find yourself tearing yourself down, forgive yourself, and then tell yourself something encouraging. Lift yourself up. Send love to yourself. You deserve it.
You really, really do.
A good way to help cultivate more positive self-talk is to do daily affirmations like these…
- I deserve my best possible life.
- I deserve to be financially free.
- I deserve personal freedom.
- I deserve to be happy.
Or make up your own! You will find that if you spend even 15 minutes a day dedicated to talking to yourself better, it will drastically effect your life in positive ways. It certainly has mine.
Cynthia D. Griffin 